Monday, 23 May 2011

Love these Irish

Thanks for your visits and comment Terry and welcome again Michiko, now here's a funny.

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.

Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

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Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the
Bloody thing up.

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Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
Contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"

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Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to
Avoid a tree, then another, then another..

A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road.

Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

Cop says "For god’s sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging

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An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.

His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy" he replies.

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Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his

"What the hell you doing?" he asks.

"Hangin’ meself" Paddy replies.

"It should be around your neck" says the Guard.

"I tried dat" says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe".

…………… ………….. ……………….

An American tourist asks an Irish dive master:     "Why do Scuba divers always
Fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the Irishman replies:  "If they fell forwards, they'd still be
In the boat."  



  1. LOL, hope these weren't any of my Irish ancestors.

  2. Actually, it's all so basically true, if the scuba diver fell forward he would fall int' boat now wouldn't he? :-) ... Maybe I have some Irish blood in me. Begorrah!! Great post Arlene. xx

  3. I wouldn't be surprised Pen, they can charm the birds off the trees, as I bet you could.