Monday 29 October 2012

For broadminded folks


Herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance
Sandy felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.
She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts
at the maturity of a 12 year old.

He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. However,
Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that
he had a deformity too.

Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem.
My winky is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with
that once we are married.'

She said, 'Yes, I will marry you & learn to live with your infant size winky.'

Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.

Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching,
teasing, and holding one another.

As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran
out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.

She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'


'Yes, it is .... 6 pounds, 10 ounces, 19 inches long.'







Sunday 28 October 2012

To my intelligent friends


TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS:
> I am sending this only to my smart friends. I could not figure it out.
> My first thought was wrong and I had to look at the answer. See if you
> can figure out what these seven words all have in common!
>
> 1. Banana
> 2. Dresser
> 3. Grammar
> 4. Potato
> 5. Revive
> 6. Uneven
> 7. Assess
>
> Are you peeking or have you already given up?
>
> Give it another try....
> Look at each word carefully.
>
> You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. This is so good...
>
> No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.
>
> Answer is below!
>
>
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> Answer:
> In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
> the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
> the same word. Did you figure it out? No? Then send this to more
> people and stump them as well. Then, you'll feel better too.

Thursday 11 October 2012

Three Nuns, Hallelujah


 THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A MATCH AT KIEV,
 THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND..    BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY  BLOCKING THE VIEW, 
 THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D  GET  ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA...  IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY  SAID,  "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO SYDNEY ... THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE.."   THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID,  "I WANT TO GO TO TASMANIA .. THERE ARE ONLY 50 NUNS LIVING THERE.." THE THIRD GUY SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND .... THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE..."     ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT  THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID, "WHY  DON'T YOU GO TO HELL ..THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS  THERE!"