Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Pearls of wisdom [or something. ]

  CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Loud mouth.

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.' The room erupted in applause DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.

Sunday, 15 December 2013

An explanation

Subject: Today's Explanation Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs" and "Huggies," while undergarments for old people are called "Depends." You see, when babies crap their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em. However, when old people crap their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will. Glad to get that straightened out for you.

Friday, 6 December 2013

Apologies to you

Apologies to Terry Gr Granny and Sheila, In hadn't been getting 'buzzes' when you'd replied to my post, so didn't look I will visit you folks asap, I keep saying I'll blog more but I'm only human and I err, so if you are divine you'll forgive me. LOL thanks for comments