Would you marry again?

Would  You Marry Again? 


 
   


  A  husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed  reading when the Wife looks over at  him and asks the question....

WIFE:  "What would  you do if I died? Would you get married a gain?"

HUSBAND:  "Definitely  not!"

WIFE:  "Why not?    Don't  you like being married?"

HUSBAND:  "Of  course  I do.."

WIFE:  "Then why wouldn't  you remarry? "

HUSBAND:  "Okay, okay,  I'd get married again."

WIFE:  "You would?"  (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND:  (makes audible  groan)

WIFE:  "Would you  live in our house?"

HUSBAND:  "Sure, it's  a great house.."

WIFE:  "Would you  sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND:  "Where else  would we sleep?"

WIFE:  "Would you  let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND:  "Probably,  it is almost new."

WIFE:  "Would you  replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND:  "That would  seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE:  "Would you  give her my jewellry?"

HUSBAND:  "No, I'm sure  she'd want her own."

WIFE:  "Would you  take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND:  "Yes, those  are always good times."

WIFE:  "Would she  use my clubs?

HUSBAND:  "No, she's  left-handed."

WIFE:  --  silence  --

HUSBAND:  "shit."

To make you smile

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I thought to myself, these b*g**rs have lost the plot!! I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over. A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said.... 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.' My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield . 3.1415927 dead My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale. Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if i'd like to wind it.... I thought that was a bit harsh so i gave it a dead leg instead. I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting. I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it! The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week, all the forms will be printed in English. Husband says to wife ‘My Olympic condoms have arrived – I think I’ll wear gold tonight’. Wife says, ‘Why don’t you wear silver and come second for a change’. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’. On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'

Thanks

Thanks all for your comments, and Sheila can't think why you couldn't get into tango's Tales, BTW it's taLEs not taILS maybe that's the difference.http://4pawsandatale.blogspot.com  I do appreciate ALL you comments on this site, I'm just trying to keep it light.just for fun.

Another joke

I'm having another go at trying to get some more followers on this site, I'll give up soon but here's another joke before I do,
Don't read if you're racially sensitive.

 

 Bit naughty but you got too have a sense of humour !

Ah, there’s nothing like a non-pc story to brighten the day.

A Pakistani immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel terrible". The Doctor says "You need to pee and poop in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapours for 3 days". The man does this and goes back to the Doctor and says "I feel wonderful!! What was wrong with me?" "You were homesick..."

This man has bonded with the lioness for a long time before this video was taken -- she knows him and has her whole life. The final scene is priceless. She's a beautiful lioness, one of the prettiest that I've seen.

This is amazing, just clik on the underlined text
This man has bonded with the lioness for a long time before this video was taken -- she knows him and has her whole life. The final scene is priceless. She's a beautiful lioness, one of the prettiest that I've seen.

PREGNANT AT 71

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran
down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she
told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was
writing on his clipboard.

"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded.
"Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren,
and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, .......
....."Does she still have the hiccups?"

How pure is your brain

Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2011 21:04:21 +0000

>
>>>
>>> How fast can you guess these words?
>>
>>>
>>
>>> 1. BOO_S
>>
>>> 2. _ _NDOM
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>>> 3. F_ _K
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>>> 4. P_N_S
>>
>>> 5. PU_S_
>>
>>> 6. S_X
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> Answers:
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>>> 1. BOOKS
>>
>>> 2. RANDOM
>>
>>> 3. FORK
>>
>>> 4. PANTS
>>
>>> 5. PULSE
>>
>>> 6. SIX
>>
>>>
>>
>>> You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?
>>
>>> Bugger - I failed too!