An old one but still makes you smile...
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, ''What happened?" His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat "I do not have a Headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.." And it worked!
The headaches are gone!"
The husband replies, "Well, that's wonderful!"
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later, jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I'll be right back." He goes back to the bathroom, comes back, and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back into the bathroom. This time his wife quietly follows him, and there in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife..."
His funeral service is on Friday.