The Alien

Two aliens landed in the  Arizona  desert near a gas  station  that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas  pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings,   Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting..  Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude,  he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We  come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader  or I will fire!' The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably  don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon  at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive  fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards  away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness,  he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and  looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over  him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!'  exclaimed the young, fried alien.  'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy  friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my  intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can  loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'