Wednesday, 12 February 2014

The Bacon Tree

Couldn't resist this one

 The Bacon Tree
  Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
  They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says: "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.  Ees bacon, I theenk."
  "Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."
  With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
  There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved!  Ees a bacon tree!"
  "Luis, maybe ees a meerage?  We ees in the desert don' forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon? Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"
  With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
  He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
  "Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
  "Luis, Luis mi amigo, what ees it?"
  "Pepe ees not a bacon tree.  Ees...

  Ees... A ham bush."

SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this.
Just couldn't help it!
 Little voices made me do it!
  And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?
  I know you did!
  You're grinning aren't you?