Old age

This time ?

Don't try this at home

http://www.jokeroo.com/bin/player.swf?5f9f_f369

st a couple of pics to make you smile

For the oldies.

True story LOL

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)
Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains.Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers watched in shock as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. The horrified engineers sentRolls Royce the film of the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions. 


You're going to love this......

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo
"Defrost the chicken." 

Old Age

The tale hangs low,  the wits are slow
Old age
The knees creak,  the joints are weak
Old age
The eyes are dim , the outlook’s grim
Old age
The hearing’s going,  the grey hairs showing
Old age
Some teeth are broken,  the cheeks are sunken
Old age
The appetite’s rabid , the thoughts are morbid
Old age
The future’s bleak, will I last the week?
Old age
The coat is dull , time for a cull?
Old age

The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S  ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:  BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.  The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:  NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The  Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!